Chaotic Rants

Manscaping on a humid day is like mowing a wet lawn.
Ineffective and the blades get all gunked up!

Wearing a tight t-shirt to accentuate your rack is very ineffective when your belly protrudes farther… #rant

If You Rebuild It, They Will Come, by Paul Shirley.

I am not familiar with the original, but I consider what I just experienced to be a hollow pit of nothing. Total crap, in my opinion. Completely devoid of any meaningful story line, or well developed characters, quickly shifting without reason, and leaving one empty and remorseful in the end.

What a sick fuck!

Touch And Brush™ – Hands Free Toothpaste Dispenser  boasts cleaner counters, and a perfectly dispensed amount of toothpaste each and every time.  What it leaves out is that everybody in your household is taking the saliva covered end of their toothbrush and pushing against the same piece of plastic.  In today’s world of H1N1 paranoia, warnings against shaking hands, and sky rocketing Purel sales, we now have a new device guaranteed to spread germs from one family member to another.  WTF?  Is thing backed by TheraFlu?

Talk about a stupid question! I don’t know about the rest of you, but my favorite time to have sex is WHEN I HAVE A PARTNER!

WTF? Unless you live with your mate you don’t get to pick favorite times. And as far as I’m concerned, sex is great and my pecker can’t tell time, so WHO CARES?

The energizer bunny is the most horrific symbol of helplessness and despair known to modern day mankind. Marching endlessly through a world he is oblivious to, with no destination or goal. Never stopping, always alone, always pink, his is the most depressing existence there could possibly be.

Never borrow anything you can’t afford to buy. You are responsible for returning any borrowed item in the same condition you borrowed it in, or replacing it. You’d better be ready to take full responsibility for anything that might happen while the item is in your charge. This includes damage or loss by pets, weather, and drunk friends. You borrowed it, it is your duty to return it.

Never lend anything you actually expect to get back. Too many spare the feelings of others by lending things not easily replaced, and act surprised when they never get it back.  Think back, how many loaned items have you lost over the years? Too many to count for most. Why bother?